Stress Related to Peer Relationships

Not surprisingly, peer relationships can also present significant stressors for students. Students can be the targets of aggression (verbal or physical) from peers who use bullying or other anti-social behaviors. Children at the intermediate elementary, middle, and high school levels are also likely to be targets of relational aggression—behaviors (such as gossip, rolling eyes, passing notes, or exclusion) aimed to damage relationships. Developmentally, this is a time when students place a high degree of importance on their relationships with peers. The threat of having those relationships damaged can be a significant stressor to students.

What parents and teachers can do:

• Become aware of the interpersonal dynamics in your child's neighborhood or classroom. Schools can provide an anonymous way for students to report when they, or other students, are bullied or victimized. Really reinforce the notion of having students (aside from the victim) informing adults. Knowing their parents and teachers are advocating for them can relieve some of the stress.
• Parents and teachers can work together to find ways to reduce bullying and help children learn alternative ways of interacting with each other. There are published programs available for schools to use as part of their social skills curriculum, and many of these programs have parent components. Some schools have found that “conflict resolution” and “peer mediation” programs (designed to teach students to effectively manage conflict) help reduce bullying and lead to a more positive school climate. Research has found that the more positive the school’s climate, the higher the achievement of students.

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